Emperor: The Cash for Clunkers program or CARS, the Car Allowance Rebate System, has been a public relations hit. I don't think its just that we're giving away three or four and a half grand while simultaneously increasing consumer debt, the national debt and removing used cars from the market that is so appealing. We're gaining acceptance of our agenda by the catchy alliteration and simplicity of our message. This Cash for Clunkers mojo could be the straw that breaks the stubborn Senate's back, and allow us to fast track everything else through both houses of Congress. It's all about our messaging and the power of words. That's why I've called in the Poet Laureate of the United States, Kay Ryan, to help us come up with some more clever program names. Kay, can I refer to you as the Poetry Czar?
Ryan: I guess, though I officially report up through the Library of Congress.
Emperor: We'll you've got a dotted line to me now. David, Rahm, Harry, Nancy, give her your notes from our brainstorming session and see what she can come up with.
Ryan:
Hmmmm...
Appropriations For Abortions or Amnesty For Anyone
Billions for Birth Control
Cash for Clunkers
Dollars for Dozer-Bait (Down payments when trading in a house in a neighborhood eligible for Bull-Dozing)
Euros for Euthanasia (Turn in your family members for the preferred currency)
Funds for Foreign Sovereignty (IMF bailout early bird bonus for subordination to the New World Order)
Gold for Global Government
Hospice for Health Care
Ice For Injuries or Infanticide For Internationals
Juice For Judicial Activists
Kick-backs for K Street
Loot For Lawyers
Money for Minions
Nooses For Naysayers
Pardons For Pedophiles or Painkillers For Patients or Persecution For Patriots
Quelling For Questioners
Riches For Representatives
Stocks For Sterilization or Smackers For Senators
Treasure for Thugs or Treaties For Tyrants
Upper Hand For Unions or Unification Of United Nations
Vouchers For Voter Fraud or Victories For Villains
Wealth for World Order
Xenotransplantation For Xylophonists
Yachts for Yes-Men
Zeitgeist For Zombies
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